As many of you know, I've been having some moderately severe health problems over the last few months. And as many of you can see, I've not posted on this blog in quite a while. I put a lot of work into this site and into the planning of this year's Camp Mix, so it comes it comes with a heavy heart when I say this: I'm not going to make Camp Mix anymore.
Pretty much every year I go through a phase where I want to give up, and each year that urge to quit seems to be stronger and harder to ignore. In the end, though, I would always pull through and end up producing a Camp Mix that was arguably stronger than the last. This time, however, it's much different. I don't want to cancel CM15 because I'm feeling down on myself. Actually, as far as my general mood goes, I'm feeling pretty good. The fact is, every time I think about working on Camp Mix, my stomach twists and I'm filled with indomitable dread.
Really, I can't stay optimistic all the time these days. Especially with regards to Camp Mix, a 10-year-old tradition that commemorates a time and place irrelevant to my current life.
I know some of you were looking forward to the tenth year of Camp Mix. I sincerely apologize to everyone I'm letting down. But I believe this has to be done to preserve my sanity. I wish I could better explain my reasoning on all this.
Look on the bright side! At least I don't have to put my friends through another year of my self-promotion and self-praise! It was not as if my taste in music or the order of a few songs I heard that year were ever that outstanding or significant. They were fun to make, sure, but I have to admit that I was getting very tired of getting excited by something that anyone and everyone could probably do in a few hours of their spare time.
From even the best possible future streaks of optimism I can conceive, I can't see myself changing my mind on this. Honestly, the biggest reason I wanted to make CM15 was just to have the entire "Camp Mix Legacy" be a nice round ten years in length.
Of course, that isn't to say I might not pick up Camp Mix again some day in the future, but right now I'm simply out of energy and any will to continue.
Only time will tell.
Lacking a better blog post and a more adequate excuse, I deeply apologize for wasting everyone's time regarding this blog and the entire collaborative production of Camp Mix '15. I hope I can make it up to you in other ways.
Sincerely, Sumo
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